How to talk to your teen about going to therapy: A guide for parents by a therapist
Parenting a teenager can be a beautiful, if challenging, journey, and it’s only natural to worry when you notice your child struggling emotionally. For many teens, the transition into adolescence brings up questions about identity, belonging, and self-esteem - issues that can sometimes feel magnified when faced with change or other bumps in the road. If you’re considering therapy for your teen, you may wonder how best to approach the conversation so they feel open, heard, and empowered. Here’s some guidance from a therapist to help you discuss therapy with your teen in a way that prioritises their comfort, autonomy, and overall well-being.
1) Start with empathy and understanding
Before even broaching the topic of therapy, it can be helpful to take a step back and acknowledge your own feelings. It’s entirely normal to feel a mix of concern, hope, and even some nervousness about recommending therapy for your teen. You might worry about how they’ll respond, whether they’ll resist the idea, or if suggesting therapy might make them feel uncomfortable. Start by taking a deep breath and reminding yourself that therapy is a powerful, positive step that many people take for a variety of reasons. Your empathy and understanding will set the stage for a compassionate, stigma-free conversation with your teen.
When you do sit down to talk, lead with empathy. Something as simple as, “I can see that things have been challenging for you lately, and I want you to know that I’m here to support you however I can,” can go a long way. Your openness lets your teen know that they’re safe to share whatever they’re feeling, and it can help create a foundation of trust around the topic of therapy.
2) Explain therapy in a way they can relate to
One of the main barriers for teens when it comes to accepting the idea of therapy is that they may not fully understand what it involves. When explaining therapy, try to demystify it and make it relatable. You might say something like, “A therapist is someone who can help you understand your feelings and feel better emotionally, just like a doctor might help someone get better when they’re feeling sick or a teacher helps when you’re feeling stuck. Therapy can give you a private space to talk about things that might be hard to speak about with family or friends.”
You can also emphasise that therapy is a personal experience and varies based on what the individual needs. Therapy isn’t just talking - it could include art, music, or playing games, depending on their interests and what they feel comfortable with. Let your teen know that therapy isn’t just for people who are struggling, but also for those who want to grow, improve, and learn more about themselves. Many teens respond well to the idea that therapy is a place to better understand their thoughts and feelings and to develop skills that can help them now and in the future.
3) Let them know therapy is normal - and that many people seek help
Normalising therapy is essential, especially for teens who may feel that there’s a stigma attached to asking for help. If you or someone in your family has benefitted from therapy, consider sharing that. You might say, “I actually went to therapy myself a while ago, and it really helped me,” or, “Your aunt found it helpful when she was going through a hard time.” This can help de-stigmatise therapy and show your teen that reaching out for support is not a sign of weakness, but rather a healthy, normal step.
Another approach is to reference public figures, celebrities, or even some of their favourite influencers who’ve openly discussed their own therapy experiences. Many young people admire and relate to celebrities who share their mental health journeys, as it helps them see therapy as a powerful tool rather than something to be embarrassed about. This kind of normalisation can make your teen feel more comfortable with the idea of speaking to a therapist themselves.
4) Invite them to be part of the process
Teens are far more likely to respond positively to therapy if they feel they have a say in the process. Give them as much control as possible from the start. Rather than simply scheduling an appointment for them, offer to look for a therapist together. You might say, “Would you like to look at a few options with me? We can find someone who feels like a good fit for you.” This could include exploring different types of therapy - some might like to talk, while others might use creative approaches like art or music therapy.
It’s also helpful to let them know that their preferences and comfort come first. For instance, you might offer to sit in for part of the first session if that makes them feel more at ease, or let them know they’re welcome to meet with the therapist one-on-one. The message here is that they have control over their therapy journey: they can switch therapists if it doesn’t feel like a good fit, they can decide what they’re comfortable sharing, and they ultimately decide if they want to continue.
5) Address any fears or reservations openly
It’s natural for teens to feel a bit nervous about meeting with a therapist, especially if they’ve never been in a therapeutic setting before. Some teens worry about being judged, others about confidentiality, and some feel nervous talking to an adult. Invite your teen to share any hesitations they may have, and let them know these feelings are perfectly normal.
You might say, “I can understand that this might feel a bit strange or even uncomfortable. You can ask any questions you have, and if you’re not sure about something, we can talk about it together.” Reassure them that everything they discuss with their therapist is confidential (except in certain cases to ensure their safety) and that therapists are there to support, not to judge.
Normalising their anxieties and giving them space to express any fears will likely make them feel more secure and open to the idea.
6) Explore different types of therapy
One size definitely does not fit all when it comes to therapy, and there are many approaches that might appeal to teens. Some therapists build relationships with adolescents and help them express themselves by incorporating creative elements like art, games, or drama. Some teens respond well to traditional talk therapy, while others might benefit from group therapy where they can meet peers who share similar experiences. Some might prefer a more structured approach like CBT or others might like a more open or individualised approach like person-centred or integrative therapy.
If your teen is used to online interactions, they might feel more comfortable starting with online therapy sessions. Let them know there are options to meet with therapists in-person or online, individually or in a group setting. Reassuring your teen that they can try different forms until they find the right fit can make the process feel less daunting and more aligned with their personal preferences.
7) Offer consistent support and encourage their choices
Once therapy begins, your support and encouragement will remain valuable. Let your teen know that their therapy experience is entirely their own - they get to choose what they talk about, how they want to use the time and whether or not they want to continue with a particular therapist. Reaffirm their autonomy, and check in periodically without pushing them to share more than they’re comfortable with. Therapy may bring up difficult feelings so support and gentle encouragement can be really helpful.
You could say, “I’m really proud of you for taking this step, and I’m here for you every step of the way.” Respecting their privacy and their choices will reinforce that therapy is their personal journey, one that you’re there to support without judgement or pressure.
8) Stay positive and remind them of the benefits
As your teen embarks on their therapy journey, keep an optimistic outlook. Therapy is a powerful space for self-discovery, growth, and healing. It can help your teen develop new ways of understanding and managing emotions, communicating effectively, and coping with life’s challenges - skills that will support them well into adulthood.
Let them know you believe in the power of therapy and the positive impact it can have, but that you respect their pace and comfort levels. For example, you might say, “I believe that therapy can be a really helpful space to make sense of things, but I want you to go at your own speed. I’m here to support you, whatever you decide.”
Take home message
Opening up the conversation about therapy with your teen requires empathy, respect, and a willingness to let them take the lead. By normalising the experience, addressing their concerns, and supporting their choices, you create a foundation of trust and openness. Therapy can be a transformative experience, and with your support, your teen can approach it feeling understood, empowered, and ready to take on this new chapter of growth and self-discovery.
